I just scolded a patient

[minoanmiss]

I lost my temper and scolded him and I regret nothing.

One of my pet peeves is when I ask someone Question A and they answer Question L which only exists in their head. This guy did that from the START OF REGISTRATION.

"What is your date of bith?"
"I have my insurance card right here you know and the nurse transferred me to you and I already told you I need to see a doctor"

and so on

Now, in part because our new patient appointments are a couple months out and in part because people call us looking for help, I added a question to the standard patient registration. I ask, "do you have any medical conditions or issues which you'd like to start working on right now?" Even people who dont quite admit to symptoms will admit to wanting to work on Project Hurt Less.

Dude says no, he can wait to see the doctor.

I open schedule, find appointments, they are in May.

"MAYYYYYYYY?" wails the patient.

"Yes, May," I respond.

"But that's so far away!!!!!"

"mmm hmm."

"But I have high blood pressure! I need medication!"

I saw RED. "THIS IS WHY," I said, "I ASKED YOU IF YOU HAVE ANY CURRENT MEDICAL ISSUES. So THIS is what WE ARE GOING TO DO," I went on, gradually draining away the capslock, "We are going to MAKE YOUR APPOINTMENT, IN MAY, and then YOU are going to TALK TO A NURSE about that blood pressure."

He made a little noise and I realized it was a laugh. And he started straightforwardly answering my questions. ANd when I said, "hold on for the transfer" he thanked me.

Ahahahahhaahah. Why are people.

(I didn't actually yell, I just SPOKE IN CAPSLOCK as one sometimes must.)

Comments

[full_metal_ox]

Sometimes kindness comes in the form of a Reality Check, and gratifying to hear that the guy gracefully accepted correction!

(And shrewd of you to have added that question to patient registration.)

[cmcmck]

Sometimes you just gotta!

[ororo]

Sometimes you gotta.

[goss]

Heh. Go you!

[jesse_the_k]

Excellent additional question--wish I could convince local folks to adopt it.

(Although I do remember a less focused version I used to hear in the 90s: "what brings you to the office today?")

Bet you could run a CS seminar on "how to speak in CAPSLOCK," a useful skill!

[lunabee34]

Teacher voice. Lol

[bikergeek]

Wah waaaahh wahwah wahwaaahhhh

(seriously. makes me think of the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons. :) )

[jadelennox]

go, you!

[bikergeek]

I'm glad the patient took it in good humor.

[minoanmiss]

I mean, he had a squeaky voiced girl scolding him. I'm sure people find me terrifying, hahahahaha

[bikergeek]

Maybe if they're not wearing shin guards.

[full_metal_ox]

There’s a dwarfish saying: ‘All trees are felled at ground-level’ – although this is said to be an excessively bowdlerized translation for a saw which more literally means, 'When his hands are higher than your head, his groin is level with your teeth.’

—Sir Terry Pratchett (GNU).

[bikergeek]

The only thing that convinces me that MM is not a Hobbit is that her feet aren't big enough.

[pameladean]

Brilliant! Good work. It is weird how much people do NOT listen, just play through the script in their heads.

P.

[dissectionist]

Every great now and then I’m being a pill and aggravate my partner enough that he (metaphorically) aggressively pushes back. I find it so out-of-character that it instantly disengages my war brain and leaves me feeling tickled about the whole thing. (Proud of him too for sticking up for himself - he’s a very gentle person usually.) So I totally get where the patient was coming from with the sudden good nature in response!

[full_metal_ox]

In the case of someone you know, OOC Is Serious Business.

(That’s also related to why the mere surprise of resistance can sometimes deter assailants who weren’t expecting the rabbit to bite.)

[cellio]

GOOD FOR YOU.

Uh... good for you. :-)

[princessofgeeks]

HUGS

[gingicat]

Go you for pulling out Stern Mom Voice.

[hitchhiker]

hah!