The call that broke and glued my heart

[minoanmiss]

I didn't have the best Monday. I was completely confused by one appointment and spent way too long researching it. I had to cancel another patient's appointment because I screwed up the scheduling (2 months ago, I know better now) and she yelled at me as the face of the institution, then told me she wasn't mad at me but at the situation and I had to sit there and feel guilty because I did deserve for her to yell at me, I was the one who messed up her appointment. I was feeling kind of sorry for myself when I got my last call of the day, and a little bit more when the lady with the pleasant voice announced she had three children to register.

But still. Job to do. As I registered the first child I asked her their family religion [If Any] and she inhaled, and when she spoke her voice shook, and I felt that shake. "We're, I mean, we're Jewish but we're not observant or anything."

I wanted to reassure her that she didn't need to downplay her Judaism. I wanted to cry. I didn't do either. I made the cheerfullest listening noise I could, and again when she so hesitantly told me her family is Israeli, and I made sure to ask about her husband's job (since she kinda-sorta mentioned they moved to the US for it) When she told me he's a scholar of Hebrew language and literature I let myself squee, both earnestly and a little performatively, and commented on how the Hebrew and Phoenecian alphabets are directly descended from the oldest alphabet. She sounded so surprised and pleased.

Her first name is a Hebrew name I've always found particularly lovely and I made sure to tell her so too, and we bonded over how Americans [TM] can't pronounce anything. And I made her laugh with one of my Standard Jokes*.

When she thanked me at the end of the call her voice was as warm as a hug. "You made my day," she told me.

I felt a little silly about my self pity, and a whole lot better. I hope she feels better for as long as possible.

*: dumb joke: we haev to ask a list of questions about patients' Physical Abilities, including hearing and vision. When I ask someone about their children's Ability To Hear I sometimes add witticism along the lines of "Can they hear, even when you tell them to clean their room?" and it usually makes the parent laugh. Sometimes I mix it up with, "Can they see, even when you point out their room is messy?" hahahaha I'm so funny.

Comments

[med_cat]

*hugs* you did well

[amaebi]

Brava! Brava!

[minoanmiss]

blushes so much and hugs you

[goss]

Awww. <333

[princessofgeeks]

HUGS

[sovay]

I felt a little silly about my self pity, and a whole lot better. I hope she feels better for as long as possible.

*hugs*

[mific]

You’re a lovely voice to have on the other end of the phone!

[lynnenne]

Awwww. <3 That is so sweet, and so are you.

[hitchhiker]

aww, good for you. really sad for the poor lady though.

[full_metal_ox]

You were the person that lady needed at that moment (and it never seems to occur to a lot of gatekeeping bigots that the majority of immigrants not only are not responsible for whatever crap is going down in The Old Country, but may have come here precisely to escape it.)

[minoanmiss]

blushes a lot

It just made me so upset to hear that fear in her voice when she admitted she's Jewish. I know how it got there and it's just so awful. I really do hope I helped improve her day at least a little.

(Also, you are so right. Unsurprisingly*

[full_metal_ox]

A related anecdote: the anesthesiologist at my hysterectomy, a brown-skinned Middle Eastern woman in a head scarf, was downright defensive in assuring me she was Christian; she wore a large and conspicuous cross to emphasize the point. (She was pleasantly surprised when I correctly identified her as a Copt.) I assured her that I trusted her to take care of me, whatever her religion—but what sort of attitudes must she have encountered? (This was in 2011.)

[minoanmiss]

sends her a hug from afar hugs you

[full_metal_ox]

(Hugs you back.)

(Spoiler: she did in fact take good care of me; I was out in an instant.)

[full_metal_ox]

By a similar token: the flak catcher answering the phone is not responsible for the idiocies decreed by Corporate—-and your consideration and compassion will remind her of that.

[marcelo]

<3 *hugs*

[bikergeek]

Job well done. *hugs you*

[minoanmiss]

hugs you tighly back

[julian]

Aw. Is good.

(Also, having a go-to joke is The Best.)

[rydra_wong]

Awww, yay, you did a good thing. \o/

[cmcmck]

So well done! :o)

[lunabee34]

Your kindness to patients mean so much.

[lokifan]

Aw <3 Good for you, that's a lovely thing you did for her!

[jadelennox]

she yelled at me as the face of the institution, then told me she wasn't mad at me but at the situation

Oh no! When I have the "omg I have to yell" reaction I always say to the person on the phone "okay I'm going to sound real angry and probably cry or yell now but I want you to know that it's not because of you". I always think that would make it okay to the person on the other end. Of course it won't, how can it be, when you're listening to someone cry and/or yell?

Also it's not your fault that the entire medical system is so fraught and screwed up that every bit of friction feels like a mountain.

[sewn]

A wonderful moment of connection forged through kindness. <3

[pensnest]

Good for you. Everybody makes mistakes, and you dealt with it as best you could. Then you made someone else feel comfortable when they really, really needed to. Good for you.

[cellio]

In a just universe, people like you and she encounter each other and thus can brighten each others' days. Kudos!

[gwydion]

*hugs*

[mekare]

Thank you for sharing that. :-) I would so laugh at your parent-child jokes, truly.