My Subconscious Wrote A Poem

[minoanmiss]

First the doggerel, then the explanation.

I Think Of You

At the rising of the sun
And the going down of same
Before I start each task
And when I send it for acclaim,

And when I'm cooking dinner
And when the birds take flight
And when I'm feeling bitter
In the middle of the night.

And my only consolation
As I think of you, you see,
Is that I am quite certain
That you never think of me.



OK, so, where that came from. This is probably more of my psyche than I should unveil in public but I guess you should all know what you're getting into.

My subconscious tried to give me a Cathartic Dream where I challenged one of my ex-friends on something I will never forget they said. The dream blew up because there is no universe, even in a dream, where this person would ever apologize to the sort of wretched creature they suppose me to be. I woke up gasping, with my heart pounding, fighting with the cpap mask, and eight lines of poetry going through my head. I wrote down the poetry, took off the cpap mask (naughty me) and went back to sleep.

All I remember of the next dream was bland pleasantness, very welcome after the previous. I found myself dozingly discussing the poem with myself and agreeing it needed the middle stanza. I wrote that down without consciously composing it and went back to sleep.

The next dream was distinctly annoying, but it was a surprise to find that for once I *actually* wrote down something my subconscious composed. (I suppose I could say "I composed in my sleep" but my conscious mind feels like another entity handed me this poem. I did a little editing but awake-me did not write this.)

Also it's amusing. If I needed any proof that I'm really a very old teenager with a bad back, here it is. I could wish my subconscious produced something more mellifluous or sophisticated, but otoh I guess I get to take credit for this.

Maybe I should illustrate it.

Comments

[amaebi]

I like it, and think it would be an interesting song lyric.

[lunabee34]

I have never been able to do that kind of dream composing.

*admires*

[minoanmiss]

It's the first time I've done it since ... my teens? my early twenties?

[acelightning73]

I think it ought to be sung as a very emo torch song.

I loved torch songs when I was a teenager. I never had a steady boyfriend, so I didn't realize exactly how much it would hurt when someone I had a raging case of the hots for moved to a different school district, so he didn't sit next to me in homeroom any more.

This was one of my favorite torch songs:

https://youtu.be/gNDu75gEiIo?si=PSWqCY8cWwYR6KLD

And another:

https://youtu.be/Vw79U_xjDms?si=Gm7gwZJ1D8Ul6y80

[jesse_the_k]

I'm very impressed by the work of your subconscious mind!

This would be a great country song.

[princessofgeeks]

HUGS

I am so glad that nowadays you surround yourself with people who love and respect you. Who do not love you in spite of who you are but because of who you are.

[pameladean]

I like this a lot.

Your dream reminds me of an anecdote that Tracy Grammer sometimes tells about Dave Carter, who dreamed a song that later had to write down when awake; but was then envious of a friend who actually not only dreamed a song but wrote it down in his sleep. That part of the dream is really lovely and I am sorry about the rest. Well, except for the poem.

P.

[flamingsword]

For you and your subconscious, I have nothing but respect and admiration.

For the former friend who this poem is about, I have contempathy, that “oh honey no” feeling you get when you see someone do something really very foolish.

[bikergeek]

I'm actually kind of impressed that that fell out of your subconscious brain. *hugs you*

[cmcmck]

Certainly not doggerel.

This works very well!

[dissectionist]

Poetic simplicity is not by any means a bad thing, and there’s plenty of poets that could use with more of it. This is succinct and still has a punch at the end, so I think you should give yourself more credit for a good poem.

[hitchhiker]

i like it!